A Letter of Thanks to an Ex

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Original photo by: aleks

Letter of  Thanks to an Ex is a personal letter that seeks to put into focus the raw emotions of being betrayed by a spouse and how it is possible to survive it no matter how bad the experience was.


March 5, 2013

To my ex,

I saw you unexpectedly today and felt like I saw a ghost from my past.  You were with another woman but not the one you left me for.  It seems you haven’t changed at all.

The last time we saw each other was when I caught you with her and then you were gone from my life… forever.  I heard you married her and had children with her.  I have always imagined what violent acts I’d do to both of you when our paths ever cross again but seeing you now, I felt no such thing.

Our eyes locked for one moment.  I knew it was you and you knew it was me.  You looked away. Was that a hint of embarrassment I detected in that single moment?  I hope so as your discomfort is such a small price to pay for the pain you’ve caused me.

I was thankful that I had my husband with me when we saw each other.  It gave me so much confidence and security having him by my side even if he wasn’t aware of the significance of that moment.  He doesn’t know you, that’s why.  I told him any way after you’ve gone from our sight.

The last time I saw you with another woman, I was so filled with anger and hatred.  Seeing you again with still another woman filled me with pity for the woman you chose over me.  It seems I am more fortunate than her after all, for you only had a chance to hurt me once but you are doing it over and over again to her.

If your betrayal had been any less vicious, it would not have been enough to bring me to my senses. You trashed my spirits so hard that you left no room for doubt that you are not good enough for me. I deserve someone better and you do not deserve me.

I would like to thank you for leaving me as you did.  For in leaving, you gave me back my self-respect. In leavingyou gave me that second chance to find true love.

Never been more thankful,

Letter Writer



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Teresa Martinez

A freelance researcher-writer who has continuously been in such field for more than 10 years. Previous to that, her work experiences are in the banking, advertising, and cooperative industries. More of her work in Google+

Latest posts by Teresa Martinez (see all)

31 Responses to “A Letter of Thanks to an Ex”

  1. Wow, Teresa! That’s a mouth full. I feel every bit of emotion right there. I can only wish you ex can read this open letter of yours. God has blessed you from the time you parted ways. 🙂

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Though obviously I can identify, this letter has actually been inspired by the recent events in a friend’s life. Just wanted her to know that the time will come that she will be able to recover and probably write her own letter or poem or song or whatever it is that would remind her that behind every debacle lies a silver lining. And yes, I feel blessed for being able to go through dark moments of my own and coming out better in the end. For all women (and men) who are going through this, you will survive.

  2. Rovie says:

    There’s so much emotion in this letter and I can somehow relate to it. I also like the idea of the gaining back one’s self after the person left.

    There is so much to look forward to in life and I believe every experience happy or sad always gives us a lesson in life.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      It can be difficult to comprehend what good could possibly come from pain but it does come in due time. You are right, there is so much to look forward to in life especially if we learn our lessons along the way.

  3. Algene says:

    This letter is really something. I’ve also wanted to write something like this. I’m sure I have moved on and left everything in the past. But, I can’t publish any ex-related post right now.

    Such a strong woman..

  4. Rona says:

    That’s just awesome! A woman of strength and confidence from what the guy did to her. That’s just really awesome. I like the words too! Hahaha. Nice one. Ang ganda! Woman power it is!

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      The one thing I like best about writing is the power that it exudes when the right words come together.

  5. i can feel the emotion. i hope, women who are in the same plight will read this letter and hopefully, learned and realized that there’s happiness, after all.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Being betrayed by a spouse or a partner is said to be the harshest form of betrayal since weaknesses are known due to the level of intimacy in the relationship. Life continues on though and most of time it becomes better.

  6. I have been through this before I met my husband. I am so glad too that the person did such thing although it caused so much pain, it gave me the opportunity to be a better person that I am now. Good riddance!

    You really are a very good writer as you can even put emotion to what someone has gone through.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Thanks, writers like us get enriched by our own experiences and that of others. I think writing from the heart is the best way to go. On another note, based on your pictures, you are probably one of the best examples of having a better life after the pain.

  7. Aray ko po. am I that man? LOL On the bright note, frustrations in life will always bring good Karma. hats off ako for that woman who is full of confidence.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      I certainly hope not. Kidding aside, cheating men (and women) should really think very hard before they hurt their spouse and family and have no way of turning back.

  8. betchai says:

    this just shows indeed there is a beautiful reason for everything, we may get hurt by the first one we loved, but it is because there is something so much better God has paired us with. Beautiful coming to terms letter.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      It is said that when we love, we expose ourselves as well to the possibility of being hurt. Getting hurt is painful but it should not prevent us from continuing on with life, a possibly more beautiful life.

  9. Dhemz says:

    oh,my! a lot of emotions pouring…thanks for sharing this letter to us…good read!

  10. kulasa says:

    beautifully written…you put into words what every betrayed woman would have said to an ex…keep sharing such magnificent articles….I am a fan 🙂

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Thank you very much. I actually got a lot of good feedback for this post from my friends. It seems many can identify with the content.

  11. Ron says:

    was kinda weird for me reading this lol.. kidding aside. love comes with hurt, it’s when healing comes that’s important… you get to become either your old self or a better version of yourself. :))

    cheers for sharing! 🙂

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Must be pretty weird reading the letter from a man’s point of view. Well, I’m sure the message was not lost as it essentially encourages people who have encountered serious challenges in life to go on living by appreciating themselves more.

  12. What an inspirational letter to read Ms. Teresa 🙂 I for one hate cheaters especially for hurting their wife and most of all their kids 🙁 I believe that we deserve other chance and am glad that the woman find her happiness to a man that loves and cherish her most 🙂

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      The hurt inflicted by betrayal sometimes lead people to question their self-worth. What has to be remembered though is that in this kind of situation, it is the cheater’s value which is put in question.

  13. Lainybelle says:

    As a woman who had been betrayed once, I can relate. To regain back one’s self worth and to rise up with head held up high after such heartbreak is liberating.

    This letter is a must-read by all cheaters. LOL! Well done!

    P.S Add me up to your numerous list of fans. I love how you pen down your thoughts. Keep sharing 🙂

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Thank you very much Lainy, it feels good to read positive comments and it gives me more inspiration to write. It is liberating to write about real feelings, isn’t it?

  14. MC says:

    I think I have written something similar like this in my diary when me and my then-bf broke up. The difference is that we both are not married yet.

    I can feel this letter. <3

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      At some point in time, most would have gone through a similar experience that is why many people can easily relate.

  15. Such a powerful letter! It’s true that any woman deserves more than being betrayed. Life is beautiful. Moving on and letting go can be so rewarding!

  16. Wow Pretty raw. What a therapeutic way to rid yourself of all those what if’s. I spent years thinking of how I would confront my ex about his behavior when we were married.


  1. Mensahe ng Pasasalamat mula sa Letter Writer - A Letter Writer | A Letter Writer - […] at mainit na pagtanggap ninyo. Bawat sulat na ihain ko ay inyong tinangkilik. Gaya na lang ng Letter of Thanks…

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