Break-up Letter to Boyfriend

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Original photo by: anitapeppers

Break-up Letter to Boyfriend is a personal letter of a girl seeking clarification from her boyfriend what the meaning of “I need space” actually is.


August 6, 2013


It’s been a week now since you told me these three words “I need space”. Frankly, I feel lost and bewildered as I don’t understand what I am supposed to do . When I asked you again yesterday, you gave me more short sentences that merely added to my confusion. What’s with these cryptic messages of yours anyway?

Let me just analyze for a while…

So you say “I need space.”

Does that mean I can’t go near you? Does this mean that for now, I go my way and you go yours? Does your world seem crowded when I’m around?

And you say ” I need time.”

Time for what exactly? Time for you to get over whatever it is you’re going through ? Or is it actually time for me to realize where all of this is leading to?

And you added “I need to find myself.”

When did you start losing yourself? That’s a long way off from what you usually say to me “I found myself in you”. You don’t seem so lost to me when I see you with your friends. In fact, I see in your Facebook status how you seem to be living it up these past few days with your social life.

And then you say “It’s not you, it’s me.”

You’re damn right it’s you. You have become so distant lately, it is like I don’t even know you anymore. Your words just seem like a feeble attempt to console me so I wouldn’t feel so bad.

And still you say “I am doing this because I love you.”

What the crap is that supposed to mean? You love me, that’s why you’d rather be away from me? You love me, that is why you’re asking me to give you space and time?

You know what I think? I think you’re breaking up with me and you’re just too cowardly to say it. And since this is the case, I am breaking up with you.

So I will say to you “We’d be better off as friends” even if I know being friends with you is the last thing I would like to happen. I’ll say “I hope you find yourself” as I secretly wish that you will not find yourself with another girl. And then I will have to say “I don’t love you anymore” even if my heart is breaking into pieces as I say it.

And then I will try to live my life without you, sometimes looking back to see if you’re following, to see if you had a change of heart and realized that you love me again. By that time I hope I’d be able to say “I don’t love you anymore” with more conviction and truth in it. By then I hope, I would have fully realized the wisdom of this letter.


Letter Writer


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Teresa Martinez

A freelance researcher-writer who has continuously been in such field for more than 10 years. Previous to that, her work experiences are in the banking, advertising, and cooperative industries. More of her work in Google+

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40 Responses to “Break-up Letter to Boyfriend”

  1. Shirgie Scf says:

    I read, and I read and I read, and at the middle of the letter, I stopped, cause I felt the hurt, the pain and the agony of the recipient of this letter. Either the guy want to break up or not, it’s still a painful letter.

  2. Tears ran down my face as I read this break-up letter. It’s really hard to break up with the guy you love.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Haven’t heard of a style of breaking up wherein no tears were involved unless they never meant much to each other in the first place…

  3. You know what they say, there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart. *sigh* I can feel the pain and tears falling while writing this letter. Yet, that’s the thing about love. It teaches us the wonders and lessons of life.

  4. sef tiburcio says:

    well made. i think this one is really touching.

  5. Why is it there is always a line of “I need space” when breaking up? From the first place we choose to commit to someone that’s the start you have no space at all.

  6. i also don’t like it when the guy says its not you its me or i need space. I’m with you when you said goodbye for good.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      There is nothing like looking back after the hurt and being able to say “Good riddance” without any trace of bitterness.

  7. sheren says:

    That is clear enough intention that the time they spent together needs a parting ways,

  8. Franc Ramon says:

    Break up are not the easiest thing to handle but sometimes a full life is much better than counting the years you have if you hadn’t ended the relationship.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      There are hard decisions we will have to make in life like breaking up with a loved one if the relationship is doing more harm than good.

  9. omg! those moments haha i guess everyone had this thing in her life. we even have heard this I need space for something we dont really know and no one can explain. indeed I guess its tragic for those puppy loves hehe

  10. As for me, I may interpret this as an indirect way of saying, “I don’t love you, anymore. I want to find someone whom I could be compatible with. There are things which I learned from you, which I am not comfortable with lie your attitude of possessiveness, irrationality, and even worse infidelity.”

    Something like this. If the woman does understand it, she shouldn’t waste her time waiting for her boyfriend to get back to her or need some explanations for her boyfriend doesn’t want her to feel greatly bad. Or for some reasons, he might pity her and might change his mind which in his disadvantage.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Sometimes people try to hold on a little longer in the hope that everything will eventually turn out alright but there must be a point of letting go when there seems to be no hope given by the other.

  11. Leilani says:

    I really feel for her. *i need space* is second to my most hated word *Good bye*. For me that phrase is half the meaning of Goodbye.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Yes precisely, sometimes it is better to just say it as it is instead of being at a limbo of what to expect.

  12. papaleng says:

    Ah, girl, you should have known in the first place what ‘I need space’ really means. for boys, this a very diplomatic way of saying… break na tayo.

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      Sometimes, when people have invested so much in a relationship, it isn’t easy to accept the “I need space’ dialogue.

  13. Ellen says:

    I guess what you did is the best thing to do, because your partner is not sure of himself so how can you expect him to love you wholeheartedly if he himself didn’t know where to stand because of his conflicting words. Better move on girl! just don’t close any door so you’ll find the right person who’ll enter that door and will love you with all his heart.

  14. I can relate to this letter. Once upon a time in high school, I made a very long break up letter to my boyfriend. I still love him but i need to make a decision and it really hurts.

  15. awwww, reading this letter makes me cry :(( kasi kahit ako na experience ko nang sabihan ng “I need space” and “I need time” and sadly nauwi rin sa breakup.. 🙁 #sadlife

  16. lily says:

    Those are lame excuses of guys when breaking up with a girl. The lines are so famous that everyone seem to know them yet can’t explain what they really mean. #bitterlang po. hehe:)

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      It is said that it is better to tell the truth but sometimes we resort to lame excuses to avoid hurting others when in truth, we are bound to hurt them more by lying.

  17. Verns says:

    Hihihi, I remember me also writing a breakup letter to my boyfriend back in HighSchool, I find it too cute now. But when I started to accumulate age and went into more mature relationship I only got two before I married, I had never written a breakup letter, I’d rather slap them, lol. This letter is not too hurting at least for me. 🙂

  18. Indeed, no matter how much it hurts you a break up, one day you’ll wake with all the hurts gone. Just feel the hurt and accept the loss and all else will fall into places at the right time.

  19. Anna says:

    Wow, break ups are one of the most painful parts in our lives. They make us stronger and better persons though.

  20. This letter reminded me strongly of my past. I used to have a boyfriend who also said those same words: I need space. He didn’t break up with me but left me confused. And just like the letter writer, I broke off with him too. I’ve never felt even better after that. If it wasn’t for that break-up, I would’ve never been wiser. 🙂

    • Teresa Martinez says:

      At hindsight, we are given opportunities to say good riddance without bitterness although it is always difficult to see the wisdom while we are in the situation.


  1. Mensahe ng Pasasalamat mula sa Letter Writer - A Letter Writer | A Letter Writer - […] Bawat sulat na ihain ko ay inyong tinangkilik. Gaya na lang ng Letter of Thanks to an Ex at yung Break-up Letter…

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