I Loved You First

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Original Photo by: anitapeppers

Original Photo by: anitapeppers

I Loved You First is a letter from another budding letter writer who in true show of women power proudly declares to her man: I LOVED YOU FIRST.

To the guy I loved first,

It wasn’t love at first sight… It wasn’t even love at first.

It all started with that drunk talk about how I resented you for you had the same name as my ex who, at that time, just recently left me for another girl. We ended up going home to our dorm holding hands, talking about how you also just recently broke up with your girlfriend. Until now, I had no idea how that night ended up that way. That was the start of a new friendship, I guess.

I felt something for you, but I wasn’t really quite sure what it was. I thought maybe I was just lonely, and I finally found someone who could understand the pain of being left, someone who I can relate to. I guess you became part of my moving on process. Maybe I can’t say the same for you since you still got back with your ex a couple of times.

Months have passed, and we shared this sort of relationship. How you act towards me seems to be leading me on to assuming that you also have feelings for me. I chose not to dwell much on it since you were an upperclassman and I was a freshman living in the same dorm, which, according to an unwritten rule, can’t be together. Another thing is you still had issues with your ex. I tried to ignore it, but the more I repress the feelings, the stronger it gets. . . cliche, but definitely true.

What was worse was that I was hurt every time I saw you together. I was hurt even though I had no right to feel that way. I was hurt, but at the same time I was happy that there were times she was back in your life, because I know it will make you happy. I was hurt even though you weren’t mine. There were many times I almost gave up my feelings for you, but then I didn’t know how to make it all go away.

Lucky for me, I eventually made you fall in love. I don’t know how it happened, but it just did. And lucky for you, you told me how you felt just as I was considering giving you up again for the nth time.

We are now together for almost 9 months, but to me it feels like years. Maybe because I have been loving you ever since we had that drunk conversation at Bentoy’s. Maybe because I got to know the real you, a friend, a counselor, an enemy even (every time we had those petty fights). Thank you for understanding, for caring, for being so selfless, for giving me the chance to be my best self, for being so supportive, the list would go on but then there’s a limit to the characters. Ha ha. But most of all thank you for the love.

I know our relationship is one of a kind. The kind you say is for keeps. But if there’s one thing that I’ll always love about this relationship, being the competitive person that I am, is that I’ll always have the prerogative to say that I LOVED YOU FIRST.

I will always be yours, forever.

The girl you fell in love with,


About the Guest Letter Writer  305089_4548756274272_1521698923_n

Dawn Marie Castro is a 3rd Year BA in Communication and Media Studies student from the University of the Philippines Visayas. She considers writing her outlet for her unsaid feelings and thoughts.


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Teresa Martinez

A freelance researcher-writer who has continuously been in such field for more than 10 years. Previous to that, her work experiences are in the banking, advertising, and cooperative industries. More of her work in Google+

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2 Responses to “I Loved You First”

  1. Teri says:

    so that’s why it’s “I loved you first”… i loved you from the start…

  2. You poured the hidden feelings which you secretly hold on throughout your life. that was a long time ago….

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