Letter from Empty Nest Mom

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Original Photo by: verbaska

Letter from Empty Nest Mom brings to focus the feelings and thoughts of a mother when children start their own lives due to studies, career, marriage, and other phases of life that would necessitate physical separation or relocation and sometimes result to emotional distancing.

My dear child,

I have never really thought about what it would be like not having you around in the house. Here I am now, facing it like watching a scene from another person’s life. With what seemed like a blink of an eye, there is no young girl clinging to me when I leave, no unpredictable teenager testing my patience, and no young adult child needing my support. It was as if my mother role suddenly came to a halt with no place to go.

I feel disoriented, unneeded, and empty.

Psychological experts say that this is just a phase that most parents go through when their children start their journey of independence. They call it the empty nest syndrome. After making you a focus of my life for all these years, I’m afraid this is all too alien to me. I have so many conflicting emotions going through me now that I am confused whether to blame it to this syndrome or another middle-age phenomena known as menopause. Am I going through some kind of mid-life crisis? Experts do really have a name for each kind of human circumstance, don’t they?

My doctors tell me not to stress too much. My friends say to enjoy the change of phase. My husband gently reminds to me let go. I do understand all of them and their good intentions but willing my heart and mind to think of others things besides you seem to run counter to my motherly make.

I do understand that you have your own life now and that you may “forget” me sometimes. Forgive my sentimental heart when I tend to wait for some surprise during my special days like my birthday, Mother’s Day or Christmas Day. These occasions have a way of highlighting expectations I usually keep in check. What I normally wouldn’t mind in any other day, I mind a lot during these days, thus the feeling of emptiness when I don’t hear from you. Besides, it doesn’t take much to make me happy – just the feeling of being appreciated and genuinely thought of is enough to erase previous “hurts” by omission.

It’s ironically funny that it is me your mother who needs to learn the art of letting go now. It is slowly dawning on me that it is part of the reversal of roles that will take place between parent and child. I have no desire to cling to you and weigh you down with my emotional or physical needs. I just need to feel needed even if you can do it on your own , even if my advise hardly makes any sense in today’s situation, and yes, even if you have your own obligations now to your family.

It is not my intention to compete with your personal priorities. You know I will always be the first one to say to you to attend to them. I understand, really, I do. It’s just that I do miss you my child and the feeling that you will make time for me every once in a while, in your busy schedule, without me having to ask for it.

Trying my best to cope,

Letter Writer

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Teresa Martinez

A freelance researcher-writer who has continuously been in such field for more than 10 years. Previous to that, her work experiences are in the banking, advertising, and cooperative industries. More of her work in Google+

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